In his best imitation of Richard Nixon’s “I am not a crook” speech, soon-to-retire Exxon Mobil CEO Lee Raymond proclaimed on the front page of today’s New York Times: “This is no windfall.” The oil industry titan used a news conference to rationalize his company’s record profits this quarter while consumers take it up the gas pipe.

Consider these headlines:

“Oil Giant Does Well: Exxon Sales Top $1 Billion a Day”

“BP Profits Soar Despite Hurricanes”

“Chevron Profits Soar on Higher Energy Prices”

“Conoco Profits Surge”

They may be good news for three of the oil companies’ key stakeholder groups: employees, investors and retailers, but growing reports of consumer outrage over the disparity between their pocketbooks and these companies’ balance sheets aroused the (uninvited) ire of two other key constituencies: legislators and regulators.

To blunt criticism and ensure that its embarrassment of riches is put in perspective, Exxon Mobil took out an advertisement in The New York Times yesterday showing that its profit margins were in line with the average of all industries and far below those of banks, insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies.

I find it ironic (and refreshing) to see a company/industry that is doing well getting hammered for not doing good.

He visited New Orleans on eight separate occasions. He had his picture taken with the National Guard. He donned work clothes and picked up a hammer for Habitat for Humanity. Did these media photo opps help President Bush deflect the criticism of his administration’s lackluster response to Hurricane Katrina? I’m not so sure.

It is therefore surprising that, in spite of his brother accepting responsibility for the slow response to Hurricane Wanda in Florida, the President will travel to the Sunshine State today for yet another photo op. Save the jet fuel!

This may be heresy coming from a career PR’ist, but Mr. Bush, forget the primping and posing for the cameras and do something tangible and substantive that will actually make a difference in the lives of the people affected by these natural disasters. All the photo ops in the world aren’t going to restore electricity or deliver potable water. It may even backlash. Just sample the blogosphere later today to gauge citizen reaction to the staged courting of this key swing state.

I was thoroughly enjoying the eclectic mix of articles and contributors that comprise Forbes’s special report on “Communicating,” which I learned about from my old friend Sam Whitmore’s blog Sam Whitmore’s Media Survey. That was, until I came across the piece featuring the bleached-blonde, child-of-privilege, party-throwing, bad-driving PR princess who has come to epitomize the less-than-savory aspects of our industry.

Yes, I’m talking Lizzie (doing her best to look Like Tara Reid).

Could this really be the venerable Forbes that chose to feature Ms. Lizzie alongside the likes of Noam Chomsky, Walter Cronkite, Kurt Vonnegut, Jane Goodale, Arthur C. Clarke, Vint Cerf and Daniel Libeskind????

The by-line for the short (and perplexing) visit with Ms. Grubman reads Peter Kafka. Now it makes sense! This is part of the PR Princess’s metamorphosis. Or is it some kind of plague on our profession?